What I Wished For

It’s easy, sometimes, to get caught up in the things you want and need. To get caught up in the every day of groceries and bills. To compare what you have to what they, whoever “they” are, have. I often find myself worrying about the fact that I’m 35 and don’t have, or haven’t accomplished, XY or Z yet. What am I doing with my life? Where did I mess up not to have achieved this thing that everyone says I should have by now. 

The problem is that when I’m caught up in the things I think I should have at this point I am overlooking that I already have so much of what I wished for. I have an amazing husband who loves me, works for me, fights with me, laughs with me, and picks me up when I just can’t do it myself. I have four amazing children. From being told at 19 that I might never have a child of my own, and if I did it wouldn’t come without medical assistance, I have FOUR babies. 

I get to walk downstairs after a late movie night and see blankets, slippers, and popcorn containers all over the place. I tiptoe through making my coffee and sigh over the mess, but I smile because this is everything I always dreamed of when I was dreaming of my tiny humans. I get to tiptoe back upstairs and forget about my coffee until it is cold, because I was too busy snuggling with a tiny one who will be joining in on those sibling sleepovers before I know it. 

Yes, there are other things I want and need in life. I still have other dreams and goals, but I try my best to not let what I still wish for make me miss out on the fact that I already have so much of what I used to wish for. 

Happy July! (How is it already July?!)